Happy Mother’s Day
Because those that are grieving the loss of a child are still mothers
May 13, 2019
Mothers are arguably the most important people in the world. Without them, we wouldn’t exist. They make everything possible. That’s why there’s a whole day dedicated to them every year.
Mother’s day is when we show our mothers how much we appreciate them and all they’ve done for us. But some mothers are forgotten on this day: women who have had miscarriages.
In my life, I’ve known dozens of women who have miscarried. According to the Mayo Clinic, 10-20% of pregnancies end with miscarriage. Such a thing results in profound grief for the mother. They rarely get an opportunity to properly grieve the loss of their child as would a mother whose baby has been born. They never get to meet a person they already have a deep emotional connection with. They don’t have a chance to hold the baby or to say goodbye. In the blink of an eye, the person who has been growing inside them is gone. The miscarriage itself is tragic but what comes later often amplifies the pain— people forget.
Since miscarriages usually occur rather early in the pregnancy, the mother’s friends and even family often forget her lost child. Eventually, everyone returns to their daily lives. After all, the baby was never born. They never met the child. There’s no reason for them to feel the same kind of connection and loss as the mother. It can end up feeling like nothing happened.
The mother, however, can never forget.
And when they haven’t had any other children, people rarely wish them a happy mother’s day. It’s easy to forget. You’ve never seen them holding a baby. You’ve never heard a child’s voice calling them “mom.”
Regardless, they are mothers.
They are just as much mothers as those who have living children and, after all they’ve been through, they deserve that recognition.
So, if you know someone who has miscarried, do something for them on mother’s day. Whether it’s something grand, like giving them a gift, or something as simple as wishing them a happy mother’s day, they deserve to be acknowledged.
This is a topic that can stir emotions. Below are resources that may help:
The views in this opinion piece do not necessarily reflect the views of the GENESIS staff. Email Abigail Gratzol at [email protected] .
