Why do some friendships drift apart?

Going through the game of life–where there are no coincidences, no rules to follow, and no fate written in–allows one to connect with all sorts of people and have them become a significant part of one’s life. These bonds that are created as kids mold the kind of trust people have as adults–sometimes for the better; sometimes not. But, all the time, everyone needs a person in his or her life who will provide that necessary compliment or even constructive criticism on how he or she is acting. What a person does next can all depend on that person who stays and offers support. 

To be with the person who shares the most exciting and fun memories with another is entirely different from simply partaking in the experience. During elementary school, there was a more limited environment on who to be around and become friends with. As one gets older, though, the number of people expands–and this is where important individuals in one’s life become more significant and where “friendship” can truly take shape.

To be honest, determining who a person will become remains a mystery. Everyone’s mind operates differently; someone can say the wrong thing or not have the right words to express himself to the people he cares about. As a result, the relationship withers. In addition, teens have little say or control over many aspects in their lives–such as where they live–which can cause a physical separation between friends. A student who used to live in Georgia–Ramiro Lopez–only a year ago has come to this conclusion for himself. “Yea, you can’t do much about it,” he explains. “In life, people come and go, but those who choose to stay are the ones who are actually fun to be around,” the sophomore says from experience. Adapting may be “weird” at first, but that’s part of growing up for most students in these situations. Another factor might be the lessening amount of time students see each other outside of school. Carson Bontrager, another sophomore, shares his insights. “Not seeing each other in person anymore and the change their personality; friends can drift away,” he states as a matter of fact.

In high school, many friendships just naturally begin to drift apart as the shared interests become fewer and fewer. Not only are students transitioning from being a young preteen to a growing and maturing adult, but their mindsets on concepts are changing, as well–whether that be philosophical, religious, or political points of view, or even behavioral ones, such as sexual activity and use of drugs. Some people become curious about certain activities that are better to avoid. And, that may be a reason why a friend might leave, too. It can hurt when someone who was part of an individual’s everyday life just walks away from it. But, it is important to remember that a “real friend” wants the best for the other and is not just focused on what he or she gets out of it. True friends will be the ones who will give a person the advice that he or she doesn’t want to hear. 

Even if a friendship doesn’t last forever,  it doesn’t necessarily mean that the memories they had with that person are gone. Sophomore Ashlie Carrillo puts it best. “I love how no matter how many years have passed by, even though we grew apart, I can still look at her and remember just happy times.” Despite not being around each other much, she still has a few hugs for her old elementary school best friend. While there can be endless reasons why a friendship is left behind, it is important to recognize and appreciate the people who have stayed by one’s side.