Thoughts that keep me up at night

Is it worse to have anxiety or dream about having anxiety? Richard argues that one is just as rough as the other.


Junior Richard Bautista is a first year staff writer for Elkhart Memorial GENESIS.

Richard Bautista, Staff Writer

Have you ever tried to drift off to sleep after a long day, but then while you are on the verge of falling asleep, you’re suddenly bombarded by various thoughts?

You may be thinking about something that gives you anxiety, or maybe that embarrassing moment from the second grade that nobody remembers but you.

They’re annoying and typically anxiety ridden thoughts. The most annoying part of it for me is that I’m always on the verge of sleeping but then it gets interrupted. 

Someone might as well blast an air horn into my ear since I’m not going to sleep. It’s either anxiety or ear damage, and frankly I want the ear damage since I would go to sleep quicker. 

A young seven year old me discovered this power and it’s pretty great. For the most part, when people do have these thoughts, their minds wander to all different outcomes of their worries, whether it’s rational or irrational. Typically, it’s the most irrational and the most anxiety ridden thoughts as well.

Fortunately, for me I don’t have these real-life moments of anxiety at all, except for when I dream them. Whenever I dream about anxiety, it always comes as a surprise. 

When I wake, my immediate thought is: “When did I start worrying about that? It never came up once recently?” 

From my perspective, it’s just as bad to dream about anxiety as it is to have anxiety since every part of you believes it is really happening. Long story made short, anxiety impacts everyone in different ways, even those of us who only dream about it. 

The views in this column do not necessarily reflect the views of the GENESIS staff. Reach Richard Bautista at [email protected].