You know how sometimes you’re really craving a lightning flavored Sprite from McDonald’s and it is seriously all that you can think about and then you drink water? That same disappointment is how I felt towards this movie. 

All of my life I’ve heard people calling groups of children “Children of the Corn,” but after watching this movie, I see how hysterical and messed up this allusion is. 

This classic “scary” movie is about a couple who decides to go on a little vacation but instead runs into a cult of kids who are out for blood. And somewhere in all that crazy mess, their master is a mysterious figure that lurks in a cornfield who kills people.

The plot is crazy and it was a lot for my mind to focus on, but that’s not to say that other people would not love it. I am sure many people are into a killer cornfield…just not me. 

For a movie filmed in 1984, the acting could have been so much better. The children who were in the movie looked as if they were one second away from laughing…not that I could say I wouldn’t be. 

The cult aspect of this movie made me severely uncomfortable. I mean seriously? “He Who Walks Behind The Rows” controls their life and even influences them to kill each other and themselves? 

Don’t get me wrong, Stephen King is an extraordinary writer whose work is compiled from the workings of his crazy imagination. For crying out loud, this man has put out over 200 short stories alone, all great in their own ways. This movie just wasn’t “It” for me. 

For me, the weirdest part about this movie is that I feel like if it were to be filmed today with the special effects and better acting, the movie would only be worse. The old timey feel is what saved it from being a complete flop. 

I have so much love for Stephen King…but this does not make it onto my list of movies I would watch again. I love the old time feel behind it, but the plot is too messy for me. Because of that, I give this movie a solid six out of ten killer cornfields!

The views in this column do not necessarily reflect the views of the GENESIS staff. Email Kailey Blazier at [email protected].