A tale as old as time: standards.

Throughout history, there have been numerous movies, plays, and books dedicated to the idea of love and attraction–the basic story of a person meeting his or her soulmate. Stories of romance have been known to be highly targeted toward women, and many men make the statement that they stir up unrealistic standards for men to live up to. However, is it truly unrealistic or are people just becoming lazy with love?

It is known that every human has his or her own level of standards when looking for a partner, no matter which gender. Some standards might get out of hand, but others could be simple human qualities. “My main quality is to be respectful and benign and thoughtful to others,” states Elkhart High School junior Chloe Dodd. “There is nothing more important than than a thoughtful man.”

Many women seem to agree with the idea that personality is the most important trait for  a man to possess, but people assume looks are just what a girl wants. “It isn’t just about looks; it’s about the whole package,” stresses Elkhart High School senior Hannah Willams. “It is about how his personality, appearance, and vibe all mesh together.” 

Even if it’s not easy to own up to one’s mistakes, it can be hard to run away from the truth. Elkhart HIgh School sophomore Silas Hunt shares his thoughts. “I think that men do have some misconceptions about what girls want from a guy.” He elaborates, stating, “I think that there are definitely also some guys who think they need to be big, strong, and ‘manly’ for girls to like them.” He continues. “This probably connects to the general expectation for men to act like that nowadays. Some guys also seem to think that being rude and mean will somehow cause girls to like them more. 

The idea of women being shallow for looks has been around forever. In fact, it isn’t just women but rather both men and women. The idea one gender believes the other finds attractive seems to be the biggest downfall in dating. Dodd shares her thoughts on misconceptions men have about what women want. “I think a lot of men believe that women are shallow. This always happens when they think they should spend more time on their appearance, rather than doing small, romantic gestures.”

As the standards men have for women are constantly attacked, the standards women have seem to be also standing in the way. “I believe that the saying ‘romance is dead’ is targeted at men, because we are expected to do more and be the ‘romantic’ one in a relationship,” Hunt points out. “For example, men are usually expected to get their partners gifts, organize dinners, get flowers, etc., but the other person is usually not expected to reciprocate with that. Thus, people assume that men should go to these lengths in relationships, but men just don’t see a point anymore.

So, what is it truly that a girl wants? “All I want is someone who loves me enough to occasionally make romantic gestures,” Williams states. Romantic gestures is a recurring subject brought up when women are asked the big question, “What do you want in a man?”

Romantic gestures don’t need to be big for many women, but sometimes a simple recognition is just what they want. “I think something I would want a man to do for me is to buy me something he noticed I needed,” Dodd states. “It’s not about the object but more about the fact that they thought of you.” 

In the end, there is only one thing truly that all parties in a relationship believe is needed. “When a man puts the effort in for you, it makes you feel wanted,” Dodd says. Hunt responds: “I feel like all men and women want in a relationship is to know the other is putting in effort. Effort seems to be a simple idea. Could it be the key to getting rid of the idea that ‘romance is dead’?”

Williams sums it up, putting in terms that maybe only women can understand:  “I want a romance like Twilight!”